DFB Pokal 2016-17 Rnd 1 draw: Short trip to the sewers…

Posted: June 19, 2016 by Zouz in 2016-17
Tags: , , , , , , ,


Somewhere in the middle of the vast Summer Footballless desert (unless you call football the apparent displays of arrogance and narcissism of people like Ibrah and CR7 that, fortunately for the viewer, have occasionaly started turning to humiliation extrvaganzas or the parallel racist/facist/<add yours> blood tournaments, taking place on the French streets or….eeeeh….

Right! We had our midnight, American Style and admitedly funny at some moments draw of this season’s DFB Pokal – and guess how the temperaturelessproof ( 😀 ) balls came out…


As couples were slowly shaping up and all the “good ones” like Hansa (been a while, missed you 🙂 ) or Dynamo (Dy dy dy dy dy dy dy dyyy ^^) where still in stock and mind, there jumped out… VfB Lübeck! I can already imagine the joy on the face of “connoisseurs” but I can also see the questions coming from newer/not-hardcore brown white colleagues: “Where is Lübeck and who the fuck is VfB Lübeck???”

Lübeck is a port in Germany, lying on the sideways of the Elbe like we do, just 67 Km from Hamburg and an hour ride. Friends talking (haven’t the chance for a ride so far) about a nice place to visit, having actually some good alternative elements in terms of scene and people. Unfortunately, Lübeck has also a very strong far-right presence and, when it comes to football, you could call this city easily wormhole – Lübeck is home to…VfB Lübeck a small but disgusting enough to make an entire Metropolis puke football club!!!

The Lübeck-H$V police protected mob

The Lübeck-H$V police protected mob

To be a little more serious, this is a classic shitty-fan-based football club like Chemnitzer FC or Eintracht Trier both in size and attitude, nothing really more. So why we are mad at them? A small subset of their fan mob, with the help of some sons-of-a-thousand-fathers-all-bastards-like-them (Quiz: from which movie this beauty insult comes from, anybody knows???) H$V friends of them, on 6/1/2012 and during the annual Schweinske Cup stole a banner and, while they escaped under police protection (after getting a short lesson on the terraces but without the banner being recovered), triggered one of the biggest riots in recent years, resulting to more than 80 arrests and an even bigger number of injuries, including even police staff. FCSP never participated in Schweinske Cup again…Some one could say that they have also costed us about 100 stadium bans, result of a last-year USP visit (to support our U23 of course 🙂 ) to the place but, even I, an ultimate VfB Lübeck hater (yeah, yeah 😀 ), will have to admit that such an allegation would be a little excessive, so we leave it aside for now 🙂

OK, data are self explanatory, what should we do with them?

Right! In terms of football capacity, the fact that these guys are our U23’s rivals in Regionalliga Nord explains about everything. Only real problem is our sloppy alter ego in many of our recent DFB Pokal appearances, something that has costed us along the way shameful disqualifications from clubs like the ones described further above. Something like that simply CAN’T happen here, we will go and sweep them, simple as that. Moreover, we need a clean victory, this doesn’t mean only goals, means no stadium bans as well. We will get them alright but let’s make a resort out of this place, not a “Hamburger Hill” 😀


Appeal to Herr Lienen: Get Kalla, gather the bunch and explain to the youth the obvious.

Instruction to the squad: Listen when Herr Lienen and Kalla are talking – they know.

Friendly Advise to the USPIf you notice any Lübeck banner, forgotten by any abstracted-minded local fan around the stadium/city, you have any lawful right to confiscate it for your collection, people should never leave their property unattended in public places – however banners inside the stadium aren’t considered unattended, at least by the local police 🙂

We’re through for now, instead of an epilogue, a picture of their pigsty stadium (which actually looks really nice but only purpose the offense here 😀 ) for tourist assistance purposes, FUCK OFF VfB, FORZA SANKT PAULI!!!



PS: the result of the comittee which was set up to investigate the 6/1/2012 incidents can be found here

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