Matchday 30: FC Sankt Pauli vs 1.FC Union Berlin 0-1

Posted: April 20, 2018 by AndyChristos in Scum Tourism, Zweite Liga 2017-18
Tags: , , , , , ,

Scottish Shower!


I guess it is not up to us yet to visit Hamburg and have the fun of both winning the game and spending quality time with friends. No doubts for the second. A trip to Hamburg is a guaranteed win situation man. Good friends, tons of alcohol and the proper atmosphere is what you need in your expeditions. Now as for the first, we can hope but never be sure, especially with the face our beloved Sankt Pauli shows in the field lately.


Thursday: An almost missed flight, a murder and finally…Sankt Pauli

After surviving the heart attack in Munich airport (almost lost our connecting flight to Hamburg, as we were the last passengers in the flight due to the fuckers in Athens jerking off) and finding our way to the S1 Bahn in Hamburg (line connections got completely fucked up due to “a father killing his kid in the central Bahnhof !!!!!!!!!!”, creating all sorts of chaos), we reach Hans who was a true soldier in having our asses for our entire stay (details later). The day was mostly spent in sightseeing and goofing around the city. Damn it Hamburg was so much missed. Stickers all around declaring the anti-fascism in every aspect and in every corner. There is where we stomped on Giannis the skinhead. A huge beast but friendly by all means. Hella nice dude man. Dinner with Hans and Mahu and back to house for early sleep as we could feel the exhaustion tickle our eyelashes.

Stickers everywhere and the Greek contribution to it( Μ.Γ.Δ)


Friday: U-boats and Jolly

Friday was the U434 day. The Russian Submarine of 1976 was a sight to see even in our previous visit but somehow we didn’t make it. This time it was first on the list. Majestic and mysterious docking a little below Reeperbahn in the Fischmarkt. With the price being really low it is definitely something everyone should visit. Its small spaces in combination to the sound effects create a really claustrophobic atmosphere giving the visitor a really close representation of what it’s like to be underwater. Quick bite on the road and waiting for Hans to return from work and head on to  Jolly.  Jolly….Dude. Felt like déjà vu. Awesome atmosphere inside with stickers of Sankt Pauli clubs from all around the world and many more decorating the place. The appropriate amount of Astra was consumed and of course the sssssssooooooo disgusting but “MUST” Mexicaner shots closed the night in the best way possible.



Saturday: Millerntor!

Rainy day in Millerntor. This tiny, stupid, light rain that makes an umbrella not necessary but on the same time busts your balls by hitting your face all the time making you wanna scratch. Anyway with the rain having an unstoppable flow we climbed Gegengerade to see Sankt Pauli wake up from hibernation. Or this was the plan originally.

The typical early Sankt Pauli outbreak came true to that game also. On 2’ after a free kick executed by Schneider, Sobiech gets the header. Well executed but directly at the hands of Mesenhöler. Good enough though to warm up the entire stadium. Then on 9’ Allagui drops some more wood in the fire. Union gets confused and Allagui tries to take advantage of the distant shot send to him. He stretches his foot to change the course of the ball, but it ends in the hands of the keeper. On 11’ the proof that things wouldn’t go as planned. Avevor opens up a really nice space for Skryzbski to take over. Union is almost there with this really dangerous shoot from Skrzybski . In the end we were lucky enough his shot only hit the post. Midfield battles and lost opportunities up til 27’ were we had probably our biggest chance in the whole game. Allagui opens for Buchtmann who finds himself alone with the keeper. Buchtmann shoots a nice lobe over Mesenhöler but it is kind of weak and despite the fact that it passes over Mesenhöler, just before it passed the white line, Leistner clears it away. Game proceeds and we are witnessing the same scenario we’ve been for many games now. Sankt Pauli making an early break and then sitting back making one dum move after the other, til the other team succeeds in scoring. On 36’ it was time for Avevor to erase his criminally intolerable performance (in Greg’s words sent to me as message during the game) of the entire first half. Himmelmann sends to Sobiech. The second one fails to shoot properly, sending it to Daube’s (former FCSP) feet . He is left alone with the nets. He shoots but Avevor is there . This time he does all the necessary actions and drives away the danger. Minutes later the final whistle ends this first half.

Second half underway and the rain hasn’t stopped. This time it is Union’s chance to open the “Chance”-board. On 50’, Hedlund shoots hard but finds the post. The rebound shot from Skrzybski goes way above our upper post. 56’ and second yellow card for Friedrich on which he had no actual complaint as he jumped with force against Buchtmann while the ball had already left from his feet. Red card for Friedrich early on the second half giving us a big advantage which we only had to make use of. With Union still frozen stiff, on 58’ Buchtmann  passes to Allagui who shoots alone from a close distance but fails to find the target. It looked like Sankt Pauli wouldn’t make use of this advantage after all. Mid field battles without any luck as even when we gained the ball, there was no communication between the players. Ball was mostly shot blind eyed to whoever and then we all kept running up and down. Union was no better either of course, but then again, we have the tendency of sending gifts to the opponents when they cannot score back. The moment is 80’ and it is Union with the ball. Almost all of Sankt Pauli is back so it looks like Union will end up with nothing . The ball goes to Hedlund after a quick 1-2 before Avevor who is so confused that hasn’t even realized that Hedlund has the ball in front of him. Hedlund shoots but his shot finds the back of Avevor’s foot by accident. Avevor who still didn’t realise who shot that, turns around to see where the ball came from. Of course by the time Avevor is making his twist, the ball ends back to Hedlund again who shoots again and scores. No more words to that. Our final attempts to gain at least one point where on  90’+1 with Buchtmann on a weak shot directly to the keepers hands and on 90’+3  with a header from Sobiech after a corner kick from Buchtmann, that ends away from Union nets.

4 matchdays remain till the end of this season. 4 matchdays and yet we made it possible to fall in relegation zone. How did that happen? How do you fall on relegation when in the same time you are better in most of the games you’ve lost points from? After the game with Kiel everything went bananas. Lost from Fortuna (while we could have taken at least one point), tie with Braunschweig (OUR GAME!!!), tie with FCK (OUR GAME!!!), tie with SVS (OUR GAME!!!), lost from Aue with an own goal and a penalty kick and it was our godamn game and now with our backs against the wall we lose from Union in Millerntor in a game that was our own. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING IN YOUR HEADS? The question of course is….Does anyone ever talk to these players? Does anyone ever bother to talk to the coach? There is definitely something not working there chief. Care to take a look? Losing our own games and being dropped to relegation zone while we could clearly be in a safe zone is more than a red alert for everyone.  Game ended and many of the people were booing at the players. Booing at the coach. Do I salute at it? No. Of course not. But how can anyone tell anything to these guys standing in the rain every matchday, screaming AUF SANKT PAULI and watching the players and the coach fuck up every time and not give a fuck????? Now it is NOT the time though for middle fingers and putting the blame on someone. Now it is the time to stick our fingers of our asses my dear coach and players and start finding tactics in the training that can actually work. Now it is the time my dear coach and players to think good on who the fuck can play on the next game. Think hard and make a rotation that will actually work. No time left for bullshit. Next game is Saturday against Regensburg. It is not an easy one and it is not a comfy one. But unfortunately it is a one way. Three points for us or no game ends. Stick it to your brains everyone. This Saturday Regensburg must lose. All out hearts and souls to it. FORZA SANKT PAULI.

Line Up:


Ziereis    Sobiech  Avevor   

Park (Sahin 84′)                    Flum                   Buballa

                 Möller Daehli (Neudecker 79′)  Buchtmann

      Allagui      Schneider (Bouhaddouz 71‘)

Match goals:

0:1 Hedlund (81′, Left Foot shot, Skrzybski)

Spectators: 29546 “sold out”

Sankt Pauli cards: Buballa(4), Sahin(4)

Match highlights here

Squad entrance


Further reading:


Heavy rain by the time we left back to Hans’ place to get some stickers. Soaked up a bit and then out again for Zoo to meet with Hans and meet the guys from Yorkshire. Getting a second round of rain on our way out, we meet Giannis at the door and the rest of the skinheads inside. Then……the middle finger sessions started. One pic brought the next. And then every pic sent to Greg should have a middle finger or at least that was the concept. Officially announced MFC (Middle Finger Collector) as he now has pics of all Millerntor giving him the finger!


Sunday: Time to get Wasted

Sunday was the Greek Restaurant day. A Greek Restaurant in Altona called Nostalgia where Giannis goes every Sunday with his wife. Besides Giannis with his wife Katrin, me, Dina and Hans, We got to meet Husky, Ollie and his girlfriend. Greek food and blah blah blah. Where’s the booze? Sotiris, the owner brings us on shot of tsipouro. And then another. And then the word comes loud. Fuck shots man. Bring us the bottle. After there was no more tsipouro in the house, I decide to follow Giannis’s advice on how to turn it around in beer (Well done Chris). Dum move man! A couple of beers at the place and then a couple more at Jolly and Antichrist was officially wasted. Two more bright moments closed this perfect Sunday. Number one was Giannis almost devouring a poor idiot who dared to press the horn on him as he was parked in the side waiting for us to get off the car and the other was me going to take a shit in the bathroom and ending up puking in the sink clogging the damn thing up!!! (Well done AndyChristos….you can do better!!!!)

Lights Out!


Monday: The “almost” Barbeque  🙂

Barbeque day. Oooh yeah baby! First of all I had to unclog the sink (promised that to Hans the previous night and then I blacked out). Easy peasy lemon squeezy. A clogged sink is no match for Anti Christos. After that we meet up with Giannis to go shopping for the barbeque but the fucking rain came to ruin the day once again. No mood was down though. Steaks in the oven, French fries, sausages and chicken would fill a quick inventory of our tiny vegan celebration. Eating till there was no tomorrow with Hans and Mahu joining the table and Giannis proving that besides a monstrous brute, he can also be a really skilled cook.  A last visit at Jolly for couple of beers and the final goodbies would pretty much fill the day before departure.


Tuesday: Time to go Home

Bye bye Hamburg. Damn it felt so good. A biiig Thank you to Hans and Mahu from me and Dina for having us the entire stay (originally we were supposed to stay for three days but our hotel kept fucking shit up so…), to the huge burping, loud Greek bastard Giannis for having everything and to everyone else we crossed our beer bottle with. Till next time bros!


Do you have this song that goes…da da dada dad….?.”No” Maybe you have the one that goes Na na nana na? “No” Can you play the 6th from this cd? “No” The ultimate Killah Krillah 🙂

Having secured our way back from Munich to Athens and watching a Greek lady reading this article…Oooooooh yesh


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